Wait it Out

Oh the wait for the right guy...Long and boring, frustrating or exhausting. You may know who he is or you may be in Love Limbo hoping that some guy will EVENTUALLY have enough interest to save you from yourself. Wait it out girls. This lesson of life doesn't always have to do with love either. To have patience is a lesson for everyone to learn....Need I bring up the commonly used "Patience is a virtue" phrase? I think not.

Alright so we have to wait, we've accepted this delightful fact. The thing to contemplate is What to DO while you wait. For many girls(myself included) we like to pretend like things will just come to us like rain and simply fall of out of the sky. But if you're looking for a good pass time to just fall from the heavens you're going to be severely disappointed. SO! Get on with it! Go to school. learn to cook, sew, engulf yourself in writing really random blog posts about love that no one actually reads, ANYTHING. Something is better than nothing. And yes, all of these love songs with the "I can't breathe without you" lines are great to listen to and be obsessed with when you just need a little pity party...but in general parties usually only last 2-4 hours....hence the Party part of pity.

I look at it this way. Whether your future love is serving a mission, gone at school, or you have no idea what his name is, it doesn't matter...'cause it all includes WAITING. Those of you who have put your lives on hold for someone else are going to find a very long time of boredom and sorrow. Learn to be happy, RIGHT NOW!

I'm sure your man is going to want someone who is happy no matter what the circumstances rather than a girl that limits her happiness by putting it in the hands of someone else. Happiness can have many levels. I think love, family, and friends allow it to go to some great levels, even the GREATEST levels. But you need to start somewhere. and that means being happy with yourself....NOW

MR. WOULDA

Now I know. All my posts are my random and slightly embarrassing out looks on men..But to finish what I started...Here comes MR. WOULDA.

Sir. W. Maybe the most disappointing of men. An experience with this one is maybe the largest wake up call. Lets put it this way, If you were in charge of the universe and everything went the way you planned. You and Sir. W would be honeymooning on some beach in bora bora right about now. But once again LIFE came into play. For those of you who have seen Sir. Woulda slip away I want you not once look back and blame yourself. In the world of relationships 96%(not actual, but probably pretty accurate percentage) of us like to blame things on this mythical word called "SPARK!!" Sure something is there when you first meet someone.. That's a given. It's called Chemistry..and THAT I believe in. Some people mesh some people don't. I would say in the first stages of seriously dating someone you can tell if you could "work." Now in the case of Mr. Woulda, there was that amazing chemistry. But some where a long the way he fell off the band wagon. DO NOT blame yourself. Many hours that could've been used for much needed beauty rest have been lost by trying to figure out what could've been done differently. Now if you messed up and you let them go well....that's a whole other MR. But no, I'm talking about the one that you gave your soul to. The one you allowed to completely dominate the remote resulting in painful hours of SportsCenter, because you knew it would make him happy. This is the boy you molded your life around to love what he loved and think what he thought. Because you were falling in or were in love. SCARY FACT- Yes, you can be in love with someone who isn't in love with you. So in time you find out that he doesn't feel the same way as you. The endless of hours of googling the perfect christmas present were done in vain. That's a little hard to swallow. But here's the part that I want everyone to know.

If you know you worked hard and you did your absolute best to make it work then you hold your head high and know that the love you gave to him will be one day better spent on a boy who gives it back. Yes it may be hard to see Mr. Woulda go..but you get to move forward with..*No Regrets*

Mr. Shoulda....

The boy who got away.....NO...More like the guy you had a chance with but pushed away and then realized as he was falling at incredible speeds farther and farther away from you, you say to your self....wait a second...life could've been great with that guy....shoot. That my friend is Mr. Shoulda. The one who you should have had the most incredible love story with if you only would've stopped being such a tunnel visioned narcissist. For all of you who are seeing Mr. Shoulda in your head and are wallowing in self pity...LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. That boy was great there's no doubt about it. (P.S. through hours of self evaluation if you come to find out that you let him go 'cause he wasn't "what your were looking for" or "perfect enough." let me just tell you that NO ONE is perfect, and the "perfect" boy you want may not love you the way Mr. S could) Anyways, somehow you let him get away. Now I really don't recommend trying to repel your way down some dark hole after him, 'cause chances are his feelings are long gone. SO if there happens to be another Mr. Shoulda that comes a long. Lets just say don't let him turn into Mr. S, The first one got away because of you, but repentance is a beautiful thing. As well as the fact that you have plenty of more chances to get it right. Happy hunting.

Mr. Coulda

The first victim to pull apart is Mr. Coulda Mr. Shoulda, and Mr. Woulda. Lets start with Mr. C. Any person who claims to have "been in love" knows him. Key word: Been. Unfortunately to be in love requires two parties. True Love consists of both sides giving equally to provide for their significant other. Now unfortunately for all of us who know Mr.C something went wrong. Lets find out why.

MR. Coulda:

The "could have" part of the relationship is what I like to call DENIAL. I've seen the female population (and some male) fall into the trap of long shot thinking. Instead of taking a relationship one step at a time the very first thought of a prospect is filled with day dreamed pictures of wedding cakes and love at first sight stories. When that relationship actually goes somewhere your stuck in what we humans like to call LIFE. The funny thing that is completely unpredictable and no matter how many romantic and life changing scenarios you create in your head, it just never seems to turn out that way. So when Mr. C was being too selfish to let you listen to your favorite song. Or would rather let his body slowly expand on the couch while you slaved over his mothers dishes. You refused to see those red flags. I'm not being harsh when i say that YES, that's a RED flag. You let yourself see past it because you like to think that he COULD change, or he COULD still love you. or you COULD get used to his bad habits. When you realize that Mr. Coulda is actually Mr. NEVER going to happen. Run and run fast. I'm predicting that if a relationship with Mr. C has ended it's because you broke it off because of his self centered or unchanging ways. OR it didn't work because of a foolish mistake of long shot thinking and Mr.C's disappointing actions. Any girl with good intentions and love to give should look for better than Mr. C. One day he COULD change. Patience is a virtue. But I believe in waiting for things that will ACTUALLY happen.